AMG-bro encounter

"TheHondaBro" (wwaveform) 01/21/2016 at 12:00 • Filed to: None

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Had a funny encounter with a bro in his AMG- Sport last night. So I had ordered a Pizza and took my dad’s Fit to pick it up. I was in a left-turn lane waiting for the light, when a black Mercedes-Benz C300 AMG-Sport, or whatever the NON -AMG is, pulls up next to me. Anyway, we were both in the front of our respective lanes, and we were both turning left. The light turned green. I could tell by the tenacity at which this bro got off the line that he was a bro to the highest order. So we both turn left and make our lanes at about the same speed. This guy must’ve been at half-3/4 throttle because I could hear his engine from inside the Fit. I realize that by doing normal to high RPMs, I could pull away from him. I then realized I could have a little fun and get on his nerves a bit, so I decide to pull away from him. This bro was clearly triggered by this, because all of a sudden I hear a loud rumble- well actually it was more of a determined moaning- and the bro in his AMG- SPORT pulls away from me at a much greater speed. Not even five seconds later, he slows down because he wants to turn left, so he enters the median and awaits his turn. Clearly he was put off by the notion of a 1.5 Honda Fit with a CVT going faster than him!

[I know there will be some people that will complain about me being deliberately provocative of dangerous behavior on the road. Let me reassure you that the situation was such that an accident was not likely. The road wasn’t wet, it was well-lit, there were very few cars around, and I was driving a very nimble car. Not to mention I did not expect a reaction like that. Had I accelerated such as that normally, I would not have been aware of this guy’s response. Stop suing me. GTFO.]

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > TheHondaBro 01/21/2016 at 12:03

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You and I have very different definitions of the word “funny”

PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > TheHondaBro 01/21/2016 at 12:07

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had a similar situation with a civic-bro last night. We were at a major intersection in town on a one-way street, and next to me is a dude in a VERY loud mid-90's civic. as I pull up next to him, I rev my engine a bit to mess with him.

Next thing I hear is “BWAPAPAPA” I l look left, and he’s staring me down. I start laughing.

Anyway, light turns green, and I give my GLI about 1/2 throttle. next to me I hear “SKREEEECH” and I look in my mirror to see that the civic bro floored it and dumped the clutch try to be a boy racer.

As he’s doing this, I signal right, and pull in to the parking lot I was aiming for very casually, making him look like an idiot as he had to nose-dive to stop for traffic, and having to rev the fuck out of his crappy car in the middle of the "nice" part of downtown

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > TheHondaBro 01/21/2016 at 12:09

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He was berned

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > TheHondaBro 01/21/2016 at 12:09

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It’s always fun to beat people in unsuspecting cars.

No one EVER suspects the Milan.

TheHondaBro > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 01/21/2016 at 12:10

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TheHondaBro > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 01/21/2016 at 12:11

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No one will expect the Milan Inquisition.

TheHondaBro > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero 01/21/2016 at 12:11

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Tomato, tomato.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > TheHondaBro 01/21/2016 at 12:12

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Nibbles > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 01/21/2016 at 12:14

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Biggest reason why I need to get the SPG back up and running. Nobody ever expects a clunky old Saab to be that fast

Nobody

EVER

spanfucker retire bitch > TheHondaBro 01/21/2016 at 12:14

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About a year and a half ago I had a similiar situation happen with someone in some 20 year old, claptrap, fartcan equipped Honda Civic.

I accelerated from two stop lights at a brisk pace, and once I reached the speed limit I stopped accelerating. No speeding, no racing, no abruptly changing lanes, no drama. This guy was revving the fucking snot out of his beater of a car, clearly trying to “race me” or something in my bog-standard Mazda3 hatchback.

You’d think he’d had learned his lesson after being so handily out-accelerated after the first light, right? Nope, did it at the second too. The little shit was even doing his best to rev his engine at the stop and sound all tough and aggressive.

I hadn’t laughed so hard in years.

OPPOsaurus WRX > TheHondaBro 01/21/2016 at 12:16

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i was at a red light next to a gansta wanna be lookin kid (i dunno if wigga is ok but thats the only term I can think of - backwards hat, big chain, i’m sure he had the baggiest of baggy jeans), He was most certainly in his father’s RX300. he had the TV’s playin in the back with rap blasting. As soon as the light turns green i stab the throttle a bit (this was back when I had a 95 explorer) just to get him going. he goes full throttle and doesn;t let up. the best part was when the grey sedan behind him throws on the concealed red and blues and pulls him over

TheHondaBro > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 01/21/2016 at 12:18

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THAT’S THE GREATEST!

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > TheHondaBro 01/21/2016 at 12:23

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THING EVER

d15b > TheHondaBro 01/21/2016 at 12:25

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I’m not going to lie. I do this sometimes as well. Nothing more awesome than accelerating briskly, having the outside car gun it........only for the other driver to have to slam on their brakes and me....coast to a cool, calm and collected stop.

Much feels of good and irony.

EDIT: You must act “aloof” in order for 100% completion.

way2blu does a rev update > TheHondaBro 01/21/2016 at 12:28

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I daily my de-badged C 230 “Sport” with the AMG “Appearance Package,” (Basically just a sport grille, chrome 5-spoke rims, and some lip spoilers) and I get mistaken for an //AMG ||BRO on occasion because it looks like a C 55 AMG. People will rev, but then when I clutch in and rev back they can’t hear it because it still has the stock exhaust.

Used to drive a Honda Fit cvt with paddle shifters, manual mode was hilarious since the ratio changes made it feel like a racecar, just with less g-force. (I know, I know, manually shifting “ratios” defeats the purpose of a cvt in the first place, but I found it fun)

TheHondaBro > way2blu does a rev update 01/21/2016 at 12:33

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The manual mode in the Fit bugs me. Like you said, the “gear” ratios are just wrong.

wiffleballtony > TheHondaBro 01/21/2016 at 12:38

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way2blu does a rev update > TheHondaBro 01/21/2016 at 12:40

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The main reason I found it fun was the instant response to the paddleshifters. I’ve driven conventional automatics that take ~.5 seconds to “recognize” (or as one salesperson put it, “approve,” lol) shifts in manual mode, whereas the Fit’s CVT shifts instantly. (Even if it’s just “varying” to the next ratio, it’s not like it’s still gaining revs while waiting for my gearchange request to go through the ECU bureaucracy.)

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > TheHondaBro 01/21/2016 at 12:43

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I mean, the Italian Inquisition wouldn’t be expected, now would it?

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > TheHondaBro 01/21/2016 at 12:46

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Hahahaha.

Or would be a Milan(thinking Romans here) Crusade?

It does actually get going decent with the V6. 6.9 second 0-60 time in that invisible 2007 silver 4 door sedan.

For reference the fiesta ST only does it in 6.7 seconds.

Not to shabby

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Nibbles 01/21/2016 at 12:53

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lol It’s fun being so inconspicuous isn’t it?

Maybe I should crazy modify the motor on the Milan and take it racing once it’s paid off....

(there’s turbo kits, there’s the option to upgrade to a 3.5L V6from the 3.0L (3.5 was available in Fusion Sport and Lincoln MKZ/Zephyr). They’ve done crazy stuff with these 3.0's including the basis for the motor in the Noble)

Nibbles > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 01/21/2016 at 12:58

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It is, and you should. Mine is factory appearance with the only noticeable performance mod being a 3" welded exhaust with a cherry bomb. It sounds delicious.

I’m having pistons made (Thanks JE!), installing a 2.3 head, a 2.1 intake manifold (if I can’t decide on a custom fab), Neon SRT4 FMIC, swapping cams and am yet undecided on which turbo to install. I’m aiming for 260hp which is about the max the transmission can handle on a regular basis without grenading. On that end I’m engaged in a long and likely expensive search for a Quaife.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Nibbles 01/21/2016 at 13:01

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Yeah the trans is a worry for me putting too much into it. I’m currently at 220hp at stock which is pretty surprising in a Mercury Milan from about 9 years ago.

I’ve also thought about the idea of just ditching this thing soon for something different (I tend to get bored)

Stevo777 > TheHondaBro 01/21/2016 at 13:07

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I passed a camaro bro hogging the left lane and he immediately attempted to not let me past him. Idk what his issue was, so when we got down to reasonable speed i surprise passed him and he furiously passed me on the right at an irresponsible speed.

people are dumb and we will never understand why

Aaron M - MasoFiST > TheHondaBro 01/21/2016 at 13:17

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I’m guilty of this from time to time, but my favorite happened years ago when I was still in high school.

I was driving my Celica down Route 2 leading into Boston, when I spy an honest-to-God Ferrari 360 cruising down the road. My passenger, not a car guy, saw this too, and said “well, he’s compensating for something.” I responded, “let’s find out”.

He was driving the speed limit or below, so I gave it a bit of gas to catch up with him. Then, I downshifted into 4th. About half a second after hearing my downshift the guy in the Ferrari guns it and rockets down the highway, getting up to at least double the speed limit.

Considering the Celica had 130hp on a good day, I’d say he was in fact compensating for something.

TheHondaBro > Aaron M - MasoFiST 01/21/2016 at 13:21

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HAhaha!

Rico > TheHondaBro 01/21/2016 at 13:36

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I realize that by doing normal to high RPMs, I could pull away from him

Hmm idk he’s putting out 362 HP and 384 lb Ft. Not sure what’s in the Fit but idk if I believe you man. Regardless, fuck him for driving like a dick for no reason and assuming everyone around him is trying to goad him into a stoplight race.

TheHondaBro > Rico 01/21/2016 at 13:53

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Well I certainly wasn’t flooring it.

WiscoProud > TheHondaBro 01/21/2016 at 14:57

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There is nothing wrong with taunting bros. I myself have enjoyed it in the past.

WiscoProud > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 01/21/2016 at 15:00

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When I lived in Madison I had an old Dodge Diplomat cop car. This ugly beast had a nice grunty engine, an LSD in the rear, and low axle gears. I would rev my POS at civics and then pull away from them. There is no way I could ever win a high speed race, but thanks to RWD, torque, and an LSD, they had no chance off the line. I never had to speed either.

gmctavish needs more space > TheHondaBro 01/21/2016 at 15:41

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Lifted truck bros always used to try and race my friend in his ‘89 Raider. The only thing vaguely provocative about that truck was the lack of an muffling other than a glasspack. But it was slow as balls, so these guys would be revving at him at red lights, and my friend would actually floor it when they did, for fun. They'd wind up going 80 in a 50, and he'd just be getting to the speed limit before the next light, trying as hard as he could. Stance bros would try to race me in my old 325e, too. People are odd.

TheJMan92 > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 01/21/2016 at 17:30

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I had an encounter like this a few months back in Green Bay. I was on my way to a family function in my old and slow (about 85% operational) 250. Some bro and his bro-bro in a mid-90's Honda Civic pull up next to us at a stop light. Naturally they’ve got a huge annoying exhaust and they’re revving it and glancing over at us.

I caught bro-bro’s eye and started laughing (as did my passenger, bless her) which must have set the bro off. My 250 isn’t up for racing, it’s for cruising, and it’s not like I was going to race this joker on public streets anyway. He took off (rather slowly for all the noise it made) from the stop light spewing a nice big blue-gray cloud of burned oil. I actually felt a little bad because I assumed the little engine didn’t have long to live.

A few stop lights up I caught bro driving like a jackass (un-signaled lane changes, standard overly aggressive BRO driving) and didn’t feel bad anymore. Smelled like burning oil for the next 10 stop lights.

Nimbus The Legend - Riding on air like a cloud > TheHondaBro 01/21/2016 at 20:54

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i drive this:

All kinds of bros (civic, amg-sport, bmw non M, etx) give me a funny look when im at stoplights... so when i accelerate rather briskly and slow up when i near the speed limit, when they catch up they look in my direction but turn their heads right after making eye contact with me... they are always a bit surprised this thing can get off the line so quick... they dont realize this thing has more lbs-tq than it does hp...

i just love getting the jump on these guys especially when they have their exhausts all loud and stuff...